WARNING: THIS BLOG IS GOING TO BE USED TO VENT, IN ORDER TO KEEP MY SANITY. I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE.:)
Okay, so is it Thursday yet?! No, I couldn't be that lucky. So I seriously hate this week already. Two of my worst classes have a test in the same day, one directly following the other. Ughhh, I am going to be miserable. I hate, hate, hate getting bad grades, but I seriously just spent 2 hours working on part 1 of my history test, and I have no clue whatsoever what to do. And the thing is, I normally LOVE history. And it's not that the teacher is bad, she just teaches a way that I don't learn well from. So I am basically screwed. Plus, she's super particular about the format of our answers, which I always tend to screw up. And I'm just so stressed because I have two other tests this week: science, which I do HATE (same day as history), and Poli Sci--which I will deal with later on this week. I just feel so overwhelmed. Ugh. I don't mean to complain, I know this is the life of a college student. But sometimes you just need an outlet for your frustrations, right? And okay, a lot of students have to worse than me. I know. But I get stressed overwhelmed so easily. I am trying to relax, I know it's not the end of the world--but it just doesn't work for me. I feel like I'm just not doing enough, Ugh, I am just freaking out. I am trying to fall asleep so I can spend my morning studying, but I am too wound up. So I'm sitting in the dark, spilling my guts out on the computer. And you know what else is weird?! I think I was more relaxed on finals week, when I had more things to do. It's probably because these are the first two tests and I don't know what to expect. But I know my history teacher grades so hard. Which, of course, she is entitled to, but it's not good for me.
I do not just want spring, I NEED it. I need the warmth and sunlight. Seriously, I am really starting to get depressed. Which, sunlight helps diffuse. Just my luck that I live in Ohio...which had 3 cities on the most miserable in the US. Yeah, I know. Cities like this are only appealing if Edward or Jacob lived here. :) ...Okay, sorry..I had to say that. I'm obsessed.
Moral of the story: College gives me anxiety, and I need sunlight. Also, I need to move.
The end.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Converse, pearls, and a little Frank Sinatra
Ciao, ciao!
Sorry for the lack of updates. Lately, I haven't found inspiration to write one. I suppose I could have just given you a pointless post of me going on about useless thoughts no one cares about, but I wouldn't do that to you.
Which leads me to the subject at hand: inspiration. I get inspired by anything and everything-from music, to movies, to books,to cities, to eras- you name it.
Normally when I'm extremely inspired by something, it is incorporated into my life somehow. Either by channeling a certain look, making lyrics mantras to live by, or trying to adjust to a new attitude. The things I'm inspired by make me into the complicated mess of a person I am today, beginning just when I was a little girl.
I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I do remember this scene perfectly. My mom,dad and I were in the kitchen with the stereo alternating between Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. My dad was telling me how when he was younger, this was the music my grandpa would listen to. I then danced with him. Ever since then I have had a love affair with Frank Sinatra, and Italian music. So much so, that my room at home is filled with Frank Sinatra pictures, books--and they even got a Frank impersonator to surprise me at my grad party. I would marry him. He has this aura of coolness that surrounds him. I believe I should have been born in this era-- the late forties and fifties. I just appeals to me. The style, clothes, music, and all around attitude. The women acted like ladies, and the men were proper gentlemen. Like in the movie The Notebook. I can't tell you how many time I tried to mimic Ally's style, or dream about finding a man like Noah Calhoun. I know it all sounds cheesy, but I like it.
Another is Audrey Hepburn. I believe I was a junior in high school, when I had decided to have a movie night. I was searching for a Frank Sinatra film, when I came across Breakfast at Tiffany's. I had always been a fan of Audrey--but to be honest, I wasn't well acquainted with her work. All it took was for me to watch the opening scene: gracefully walking down the streets of New York in a beautiful black dress, with Moon River softly emphasizing the greatness of it all. I knew I wanted to be just like her. I soon watched all her movies and learned as much as I could about her. I knew I wanted to be just like her--from her impeccably classic fashion sense, to her kind works with UNICEF, to her endearing personality. She just seems to exude an elegance. I want people to see me that way.
The thing I love about life though, is that there is no ONE thing that defines me. One day I will channel Audrey with an elegant little black dress, complete with flats and pearls. The next day I'll channel a hippie look: a t-shirt, jeans and converse. Then the next day I'll channel a beachy look. The list can go on. It is weird how thing impact me. Everything I love and anything I see that I like will show up in my life someway. One inspiration will lead to another.
This is the beauty of life--we are are just products of our passions, the things we love and inspire us. They are the things that make this life a little easier.
Sorry for the lack of updates. Lately, I haven't found inspiration to write one. I suppose I could have just given you a pointless post of me going on about useless thoughts no one cares about, but I wouldn't do that to you.
Which leads me to the subject at hand: inspiration. I get inspired by anything and everything-from music, to movies, to books,to cities, to eras- you name it.
Normally when I'm extremely inspired by something, it is incorporated into my life somehow. Either by channeling a certain look, making lyrics mantras to live by, or trying to adjust to a new attitude. The things I'm inspired by make me into the complicated mess of a person I am today, beginning just when I was a little girl.
I don't remember exactly how old I was, but I do remember this scene perfectly. My mom,dad and I were in the kitchen with the stereo alternating between Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. My dad was telling me how when he was younger, this was the music my grandpa would listen to. I then danced with him. Ever since then I have had a love affair with Frank Sinatra, and Italian music. So much so, that my room at home is filled with Frank Sinatra pictures, books--and they even got a Frank impersonator to surprise me at my grad party. I would marry him. He has this aura of coolness that surrounds him. I believe I should have been born in this era-- the late forties and fifties. I just appeals to me. The style, clothes, music, and all around attitude. The women acted like ladies, and the men were proper gentlemen. Like in the movie The Notebook. I can't tell you how many time I tried to mimic Ally's style, or dream about finding a man like Noah Calhoun. I know it all sounds cheesy, but I like it.
Another is Audrey Hepburn. I believe I was a junior in high school, when I had decided to have a movie night. I was searching for a Frank Sinatra film, when I came across Breakfast at Tiffany's. I had always been a fan of Audrey--but to be honest, I wasn't well acquainted with her work. All it took was for me to watch the opening scene: gracefully walking down the streets of New York in a beautiful black dress, with Moon River softly emphasizing the greatness of it all. I knew I wanted to be just like her. I soon watched all her movies and learned as much as I could about her. I knew I wanted to be just like her--from her impeccably classic fashion sense, to her kind works with UNICEF, to her endearing personality. She just seems to exude an elegance. I want people to see me that way.
The thing I love about life though, is that there is no ONE thing that defines me. One day I will channel Audrey with an elegant little black dress, complete with flats and pearls. The next day I'll channel a hippie look: a t-shirt, jeans and converse. Then the next day I'll channel a beachy look. The list can go on. It is weird how thing impact me. Everything I love and anything I see that I like will show up in my life someway. One inspiration will lead to another.
This is the beauty of life--we are are just products of our passions, the things we love and inspire us. They are the things that make this life a little easier.
The saddest people I've ever met in life are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there's nothing to make it last -Nicholas Sparks, Dear JohnBuona notte.:)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Random thoughts and thought out changes.
So yesterday, in my boredom before bed, I was contemplating whether I wanted to write a new post. Then I remembered that this is not the first blog that I've had. I used to have a xanga blog. So with this little revelation, I took a little trip down memory lane. It's so funny to re-live the daily drama of my 15- and 16-year-old life. I was struck by two things: how much I have changed, and how I am still very much the same. Sure, I've grown to mature, and obviously each of these experiences has shaped me into the person I am, but I think the essence of me has remained the same. I guess that's a comforting fact.
Anyways, another week has ended, thank God! And now that I dropped my Friday class, I'm home free for a month. I did, however, pick up a new class. It's an easy A elective. I just go see museums for two Saturdays in March, two in April, and one in May. I'll take that.
I also have decided that next fall I will be changing my major. I will officially be an English major, with a minor in writing. And let me tell you, I am beyond pumped. An English major just has so much more freedom, I can actually write and be elaborate. Don't get me wrong, journalism is a cool profession, I just don't enjoy the journalism style of writing: to cut-and-dry for my taste. I like to put my own spin on things. Now I can become a writer, or work for a publishing company. I honestly cannot wait to start these new classes. Then I will move to North Carolina and live in a quaint little house. A least that's my aspiration. It would be nice to have a man as well, but if things continue as they are, I don't see how. Kent men, in general, are a tad shallow. Okay, not all of them...but I haven't actually witnessed that yet. I guess a quote could sum this up:
Can I get an Amen?!
But maybe someday I'll find that guy? Maybe...
Okay, moving on. Tomorrow my DZ sisters and I are going to see Dear John, and I cannot wait. It is just what I need. It will be fabulous. And I think I'll need some tissues.
Okay. Enough for now.
Ciao, ciao!<3
Anyways, another week has ended, thank God! And now that I dropped my Friday class, I'm home free for a month. I did, however, pick up a new class. It's an easy A elective. I just go see museums for two Saturdays in March, two in April, and one in May. I'll take that.
I also have decided that next fall I will be changing my major. I will officially be an English major, with a minor in writing. And let me tell you, I am beyond pumped. An English major just has so much more freedom, I can actually write and be elaborate. Don't get me wrong, journalism is a cool profession, I just don't enjoy the journalism style of writing: to cut-and-dry for my taste. I like to put my own spin on things. Now I can become a writer, or work for a publishing company. I honestly cannot wait to start these new classes. Then I will move to North Carolina and live in a quaint little house. A least that's my aspiration. It would be nice to have a man as well, but if things continue as they are, I don't see how. Kent men, in general, are a tad shallow. Okay, not all of them...but I haven't actually witnessed that yet. I guess a quote could sum this up:
"Though we adore men individually,we agree that as a group they're rather stupid."-Mary Poppins
Can I get an Amen?!
But maybe someday I'll find that guy? Maybe...
Okay, moving on. Tomorrow my DZ sisters and I are going to see Dear John, and I cannot wait. It is just what I need. It will be fabulous. And I think I'll need some tissues.
Okay. Enough for now.
Ciao, ciao!<3
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